4TH OF JULY MEMORIES

Today is my sweet little Yorkie, Mr. Bentley's, birthday. Every year when the skies start to rumble and roar with fire works he goes into a shaking fit and hides under the covers on my bed, causing his hair to electrify. He is a site. Today he is seven; I have been participating in this "calming of the dog" ritual for quite some time, but this is nothing compared to the 4th of July with my seven kids!

If I had to choose the most frightening 4th of July, it would have to be 1989, the year I had employed "the nanny from hell", Cassie. She couldn't cook, clean, or do laundry, but the kids loved her, especially the boys. She was a model and gracefully strolled into work each day looking as though she were about to pose for the cover of Vogue. 

This special 4th of July, we were living in Roy, Utah. I was out of town on business for a couple of days and had left Cassie in charge. I knew the kids could survive a couple of days on macaroni and cheese, cereal, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I was only two hours away, surely they would be okay. Boy, was I wrong. 

I sat in a meeting with a group of brokers from San Francisco who were considering contracting my company to work with FHA streamline loans. Like a professional, I took notes, listened intently, and asked intelligent questions. Dressed the part in my new business suit from Nordstroms, nails beautifully manicured, and unwanted hair discretely removed from my brows, I was more than impressing them. That is, until the secretary informed me that I had an emergency call from health and welfare services. All my charm flew out the door right behind me as I ran to the phone. 

"Hello", I said with confusion

"Yes, is this Jenny Lee?" a deep voice asked on the other end.

"Yes, What's wrong? What's going on?, I began blubbering with fear in my voice.

"Well, Mrs. Lee, I had a call from the neighbors that your children were left at home alone. Your daughter April and your two young twins, Mike and Mitch. I was worried that..." he began to say, but I cut him off quick.

"Alone?" I yelled for all the suits in the other room to hear. "What do you mean alone?" I asked him accusingly, as though he were responsible for this mess. "Where is the nanny and my other children?" I was terrified and baffled.

He was able to calm me down, assuring me that everything was fine. "I don't know where the others are but things are under control here. How old is your daughter April?" he asked calmly. 

"Nine, she is only Nine", I answered frantically.  

"Well, she is quite the little grown up. I asked her if I were to come back at six o'clock this evening would she be able to cook the chicken I took out of the freezer. She is quite the character, she told me yes she could, but she was making lasagna. She relayed the entire process of preparing the meal. Quite impressive this little girl." he laughed.

"What's going to happen? It will take me two hours to get home?" I questioned, so afraid that he would take my children.

"I think little April will be fine until you return. There is no minimum age for babysitting in Utah and she seems to have everything under control, however I suggest you hurry home."

I asked the secretary to make my apologies and sprinted to my car. 

When I arrived home, I found that my van was missing along with the nanny and my other children. Mike and Mitch, my three-year-old twins were asleep on the couch with the ninja turtles playing on the TV. At least they were safe.  I was able to pry the whereabouts of the rest of my crew from my daughter. But what I heard, threw me. "Mom, they just went to Wyoming to get fireworks. Cassie said they have better ones there. "

"Wyoming? What do mean they went to Wyoming? That's 80 miles away!" All I could think of was that old van breaking down on the side of the road with my kids and an insane nanny holding a lap full of illegal fireworks. "She is so fired!" I screamed into the room and April started to cry. 

"Sis, don't cry. Mommies not mad at you, I'm just worried" I comforted her.  "When did they leave?"

"I don't know, but Cassie promised she'd be back before dark so we could go to the cemetery again to see the ghost" April announced with a perky smile, as though this statement was perfectly normal and even a bit exciting.

I didn't even want to ask. OMG, I didn't want to ask, but.... "April honey, what cemetery  And what do you mean again?" 

"You know Mommy, the cemetery with the ghost. It's so scary. Cassie took us last night when it was really dark and we saw him. He's real mommy, he is." 

I was stunned. I just stared at my daughter trying to absorb this picture of my little children running around a cemetery in the middle of the night being chased by a ghost. April was quick to interrupt my shocked system. "Mommy, he can't hurt you cuz he's a dead guy, and when we set off the fireworks he runs away."

"What?" I freaked out. "You were setting off fireworks in the cemetery?"

She looked at me like I were an idiot, "Yes, we had to or he would get us. We used all the ones that Cassie bought at the corner. That's why she went to get more, and these ones are really big and loud. It will really scare that ghost."

As if on cue, the object of my wrath pulled into the driveway with my other boys.  The boys ran in, "Mom! We got fireworks, big ones", they yelled out, all speaking at once, and all with big smiles on their faces.  Cassie of course had no clue that I wanted to kill her. She just put the bag full of explosives on the kitchen table and said, "Your home early."

The boys all started talking at once, "Yea Mom, you can come to the cemetery with us." "Come and see the ghost Momma, it's so fun" They were so excited and so happy that my anger was dissipating.  "Come on Mom, come with us." one of the five year old twins cheered. The idea that I would disprove of this outing didn't even occur to any of them, not even the crazy nanny. I was baffled.

Of course you know how this night ended. Yep. I, the kids, and the nanny from hell went to the cemetery where we scared a ghost with illegal fire works. And, as out of the box as this experience was, we had a blast. The kids were laughing all the way home and I felt like a teenager again. I know,, irresponsible and wrong, but what a memory we made.

Happy fourth of July everyone!