THE WORLD WE CREATE IS THE ONE WE LIVE IN

“The world we create 

is the one we live in.” 

What a profound statement! I remember the first time I heard those words. My arms were full of groceries, a bit too full, and I was racing to the kitchen counter to keep from dropping a bag of canned goods that were slipping from my grip. A woman’s voice bellowed from the TV (which my kids left on AGAIN) and I froze. The scene was like that of Noah and the Ark. The voice came loud and deliberate and seemed to be meant for only me. “The world we create is the one we live in.” she roared again.  My first reaction was to get angry. “Oh really”, I yelled back, “You think this insanity is my fault?”

For the rest of the day and into the night those words echoed in my mind. As I lay in bed that night, I realized she was right. “OMG! What have I done?” I thought. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  I wish I had understood this one simple philosophy when I was younger. It would have saved me a lot of time and chaos. Mind you, people did try to teach me this lesson: my father, my grandmother, and my moms (yes, this is meant to be plural) and believe it or not, my children, but I did not heed their warnings. I was determined to make the round pegs fit neatly and quietly into the square holes. If the pegs refused to cooperate I forced the process, pounding them in with a hammer.

Years later, I threw away the broken pegs and appointed myself the job of teaching my children this lesson. As a grandmother, I now realize how true and unchanging those words are. The moment we begin making our own decisions and choices, the story that will be our life begins to unfold. However, my children are just as stubborn as I was, so the chaos continues. I now have 20+ grandkids and my children have continued my legacy; chaos. They (the experts) say there comes a time when twins separate and begin to live their own lives; not true. My children (or my pile as I call them) are no different and no less connected than they were as children. Yes, they have their own homes, spouses, children, and jobs, but they are just as entwined as ever. And it all started with the world I innocently designed. This is my story, I hope you enjoy taking this journey with me as I fill the pages with laughter, tears, and love.

Thirty seven years ago, at the age of 16, I began creating my world; my story; that place I would live forever. Oblivious to this fact, I did not do a lot of planning. I had no idea I was creating anything except a pile of children and tons of laundry (or is that a ton of children and piles of laundry?). Either way, I was young and naive. What did I know about life and the future? Without a plan, I began having babies and more babies. These cute little bundles of joy irresponsibly and without my permission grew into toddlers with the full intention of moving forcefully into their teens. Just thinking about my crew as teenagers made me want to stand and reverently ask the world for a moment of silence. Eventually this group of seven, which I refer to as my pile, evolved into parents and set out to drive me completely nuts by replenishing the earth with miniature people who would call me Grammy.   

The memories of those child rearing years are infinite, and yet somehow it seems only yesterday it all started. Now at the age of…well let’s just say over 48, I am becoming more and more aware of the fact that my job as caretaker has come to an end. According to the bible, the laws of the federal government, and the diminishing number of anger cells clinging to the walls of my brain, I am officially done.

I promised myself when the day came that I was finished washing dishes, refereeing fights, and toilet training, I was going to start a new life. When I was done folding the laundry again (Yes, I meant to say again) and filling out endless piles of paperwork from the schools, I was going on a diligent search for the real me. When I was through shopping for the biggest and cheapest bag of breakfast cereal that resembled fruity pebbles, laundry baskets full of school clothes, and double birthday presents, I was going to transform my body back to its youthful state and get healthy. When my job was finished and the children were gone, leaving the house empty and void of the bellowing word, “Mom!” I was going to sit down and let all my tears, frustrations, and laughter fall out through my pen onto several hundred innocent pieces of paper. I’m done, today is that day.

I will be here every afternoon sharing with you the joy and trials of raising four sets of twins as a single mom. If you are the parent of twins, please feel free to ask anything you wish.

Whoop Whoop, See you tomorrow

Jenny Lee